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  • Writer's pictureForaging for two

Stop comparing your relationship to others!

Updated: Jul 7, 2022

Why we should not try to keep up with the couple next door!

Hi everyone, we have another great topic to dive into! This will be Part 3 of 3. In parts one and two we discussed Career and Financial comparison and Physical comparison - And now it’s time for part three: Relationship #Comparison! Yes that’s correct, we will discuss why people should stop comparing their relationship to that couple next door. Let’s Get Started!

Couple looking out the window

Comparing your relationship to others puts pressure on you and your partner.

We’ve all heard it and seen it, “The neighbors are going on vacation, when are we going”, “They look so happy, why can’t we be like them". Comparing your #relationship to another one is a very quick way to put an extreme amount of pressure on yourself and your partner. This can be anything from a new car that your neighbors bought, to seeing a stranger in a restaurant hold the door for his/her date. But the issue begins when you feel the need to do the same or your partner puts pressure on you to do the same.

Focus on your own relationship and happiness

Every relationship is unique in it’s own way and this is something you and your partner should never forget. Keep your eye on the prize and by prize we mean your loving partner. Staying focused on each other can help keep your relationship in tip top shape! It really doesn’t matter what other couples have going on or what they have compared to you and your relationship because most of the time, it is not what it seems like.

Often you see only the shiny side of others

When couples #compare their relationship to others, they only seem to see the shiny side of whatever they are comparing themselves to. For example, your friends or neighbors just put in a pool in their backyard, bought a new car, their kids go to the best private academy in your town, both of the adults seem to be in the best shape ever and they are always smiling. We think we all know or have known of someone like this. They will stop you in the driveway while you’re unloading groceries and invite you and your partner over to have a look at their new pool or they will ask when are you guys getting a new car - only to highlight they have a new pool and car - and they will even bring the kids into it by asking “how are your kids doing in school” so that they can brag about the private academy that their kids attend.

Tip: Read about "Career and financial comparison"

Even with a strong relationship, situations like this can sometimes creep it’s way in and begin to cause a bit of comparing. The best thing that you can do when encountering these types of people or situations, is to smile and let them have their moment - and not #comparing your relationship to theirs.

Above we mentioned how couples only tend to see the shiny side of whatever they are comparing their relationship to, well here’s what we mean by that. In the example above your friends or neighbors put in a new pool, bought a new car, their kids are in the best private academy and the two adults appear to be in the best shape ever and are always smiling. Well once you look behind the shiny side, you will notice that they took out a $50,000 loan to put the pool in, financed the new car which was $65,000, both the pool and the car have an interest rate of 19.999% because their credit is destroyed from a terrible debt to income ratio. Their entire pay check goes into bills, they can barely sleep at night because of heated arguments and trying to figure out how they are going to pay next years cost for their kid’s private academy. The only escape they have from their highly stressful life is exercising and even that is done to try and show off.

Tip: Read about "Physical Comparison"

Have a look at your happy relationship

Now let’s take a look at your beautiful relationship. You and your partner can’t stop smiling at each other because you’re so in love, your kids are happy and healthy and you all are there for each other. This is the stuff that really matters, so try your best to be grateful for what you have and keep enjoying life! So stop comparing your relationship to others!

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We are "Foraging for two" - a unique loving couple. Enjoy our opinions and ideas about Love, Life, Growth and everything in between. 

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