3 Tips on How to Set and Keep Healthy Boundaries

Too much stress in your relationship coming from the outside? You probably need to set some boundaries. Not having boundaries for Family and Friends can lead to a massive amount of stress in any relationship. Which is why it’s important to work together with your partner and put your foot down. In this post we will cover 3 Tips that can help relieve the stress of outside interference by setting a few boundaries.

1) Learn to Just Say “No"

Learning how to say “No” can be one of the greatest tools in your journey to setting #boundaries. There are those of us that seem to feel obligated to let friends and family tag along in our relationship whenever they want. It can be a nice hike that you and your partner planned, a couples cookout for two, or a night out. Whatever the activity is, we are usually excited and we tend to tell those that are close to us about the good news. It’s at that time one or more people in our circle take it as an invitation. This is when the “No” comes in! You should not feel obligated to let them join. There is no reason to be mean about it either. Just simply say something along the lines of “No, sorry we are not actually allowing anyone to join us this time. This is some couples time for us". And that’s it! You don’t owe them any more of an explanation than that. The first few times trying this technique will feel harsh but eventually it will become second nature and you and your partner should be able to realize when to use it.

2) Stop Sharing Every Part of your Private Love Life

There is no reason for your family and friends to know every little detail about your love life, nor should you feel pressured to tell them. It’s ok at times to share some great news with a friend or ask for simple advice from an elder family member but most of the time this should be kept in the relationship. This is where good #communication comes into play. If there is an issue between you and your loved one, you two should want to work it out yourselves. Take time as a couple, identify the problem, discuss it and solve it. This may take a bit of time but you will be a little stronger afterwards. When we allow friends and family to enter every part of our private lives, we start to slowly lose contact with the most important person…Our loving partner. What happens is, we begin to take in a bunch of outside influences and pressure on a daily basis which disrupts our true feelings and thoughts. This is a huge issue because most of the time at this point, we don’t communicate what we truly and honestly feel to our partner. It becomes kind of a mix of what we wanted to say and everything we heard from the 8 friends and family members we got “advice” from. This will eventually drive a wedge between a couple because of poor communication and give your friends and family a feeling that they have an open invitation to enter your private love life whenever they want. So next time you need advice, keep it simple and ask the most important person in your life…your loving partner.

3) Kids and Boundaries in a Relationship

The thing many families struggle with...setting boundaries for your kids in a relationship. It’s ok to separate couples time and family time. It is a very common sight to see couples who have emotionally lost contact with each other when a child entered their lives. This is not ok and it is not healthy! This new addition to your family needs lots of love and attention but that does not mean you should allow the foundation to crumble. You and your loved one are the foundation that you build your house on, the house being your future. If the foundation falls apart, so does your house. This is why it’s important to teach kids about boundaries as well as how and when to utilize them. When couples do not set aside time for themselves, what seems to happen over time is that both parties are focused so much on their kid/kids that they miss the growth that is taking place within their partner. As individuals we all grow and change throughout our lives. If these changes take place without our partner realizing it, keep in mind that one day your kids will leave home and you may finally look up but no longer recognize the person you married. To avoid this mistake, take a little couples time everyday. Depending on their age, you can explain to your kids that it’s “Mommy and Daddy’s time" now, eventually they will get on board.

We hope everyone gained something from this post. Keep in mind that setting boundaries is not a negative or harsh thing to do, when done properly. Using these 3 little tips may help guide your #relationship into a happy and healthy future for you and your special someone!